LOSE AND TO PRETEND by HANS EISKONEN

I’m not good about telling myself. Many thing seems bigger or smaller than reality.

I believe in zen type a controlled coincidence. If you repeat and repeat and repeat yourself, train your mind eye and hand, the end result is free flow, you work without working and do without doing. Those moments are best when you live in the razor edge between past and future and you don’t have a any clue what is happening. If you try to work for profit or goals, soon you feel tired and exhausted. I see it when I’m running longer distances, if i think how many kilometers are left or how many or tiny etappe is behind, soon I lost my tempo, I’m going too fast or too slow, because I try to control that situation.When running happens in the moment step by step and what more boring it is, my runner mind are most balanced. 

I was a problem kid in the school. My mind wandered and I just drawing and ripping my school books. Naturally I try arts when school was over. Painting drawing etc. I cant’t communicating with my art peaces and I found myself in Helsinki Harbour as a stevedorer. It was great. Physical work. Still I draw and start my first steps in world of computer art with my Pentium III. One day when I was working I stand next to cargo ship in my overalls and think, Is this my life. It is, but still that kind of life what I don’t want to do anymore. I try to vocational school in Lahti and stepping in. Because my lousy school career I was oldest guy in class. It was great, young people open my eyes esthetic I never noticed before, skating, street art, new music styles, clothings and whole lifestyle. We have period of internships and I got great place in cool media company in Helsinki where I live. Soon I realizing I was making illustration for magazines. This time I don’t even know there are ”illustrators.” Portfolio growing and then I get more clients and build up one man company.

For now my day or night work is illustrations. Usually magazines. www.hanseiskonen.com My work take so much time so I must downgrading to produce my own stuff. It is little sad, but I’m planning to change it. It’s difficult, because own projects and works are in the same territory and capacity produce stuff have own limits. I work at home in Helsinki. And live there too. With my wife and 5 year daughter. They are my roots. My anchor. Sometimes I’m working when wife is job and Mina is in kinderkarten and sometimes at night. I need to be alone in work process, physically or mentally. I listen always music sometimes 5 hours repeat one record because mood must be unite. Take care my caffeine, water and nicotine intake. When focus is sharp and things flow, it was peaceful time. Maybe rough too in some way. I can’t hear or see nothing but work. I have no plans what I’m doing next, but I’m shore that something is coming. Like I say before, things must be change. And they change. I don’t know yet when. I newer do any drafts. I compose thing in my mind and take a tools and take a ride. It is some mandala technique. If something is not working I trash it and begin again.

I have always 2-4 main channel in my head and 5-7 sub channels. They are filled with art, popular culture, books, music, sports, movies, typography, meditation, spiritual things, casual everyday life things, computers, tablets, internet, fashion, photography, cars, snowboarding, chess…it was source. So powerful source that It takes a toll if you don’t care for yourself. Mentally and physically.